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Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Sound familiar?

Let's take a minute to remember how we got where we are today. Here's
a little story posted a ways back by haubalong at 08.03.2004 01.31 AM on Al Franken's Blog...

I wake up one morning and somebody comes and sets fire to the shed in my backyard. It's a total loss and shocking event to be sure. I had some animals and other stuff in there and they are now gone. I determine that the guys who did it live in apartment building across town. I go over there and the apartment manager (who beats his wife) says "Hey! Wait a minute...You can't come in here!" I tell him I want him to tell me which room the guy who set fire to my shed is living in. He tells me he needs proof and if I can produce it..he has no problem telling me. I say no way...I KNOW he's in there and you better tell me or I'm gonna kill YOU and a bunch of your people too. He still refuses. So I blow the crap out of his rundown apartment building. I kill a bunch of people...and yeah some of the friends of the guy who set fire to my shed. I don't get the actual guy but hey....IN the meantime...HE apparently has gone to live in ANOTHER apartment building...THIS one is owned by a FRIEND OF MINE. But it's HUGE and there are some pretty rough characters there who are not about to tell me where the guy is. So I decide that instead of going after the guy who set fire to my shed...there's ANOTHER guy who has been beating his wife and abusing his kids really abusing the residents of his apartment building and I decide to attack HIM. After all...I heard he's had a couple of phone calls with the guy who set fire to my shed! They must be working together? He's got friends who are friends of the guy who set fire to my shed and I HEARD he's got like a bazooka or something so I tell my family..."We have to take him out..he could lend that bazooka to a friend of a friend!" I forced this guy at one point to let the cops in look around...and they were there for a long time but didn't find anything (they said they saw a PLAN for a bazooka though!). So I told em I had just had it with this guy and that they better clear out. So I attack his apartment buildings...I kill a BUNCH of the people living there. I PROMISE TO (and actually DO) rebuild a lot of the buildings but while I am there 92% of the residents want me to leave. I finally catch the guy who was beating his wife and kids...(who by the way I used to send money and groceries to) he was down hiding in the basement...and I pick a new apartment manager. Along the way a few of my family members get killed and I am spending like ten thousand dollars a WEEK but it's WORTH it to get that guy! In the meantime the friends of the guy who set fire to my shed are still out is the guy...and they are constantly threatening to set fire to my car, my house, and more...I'd like to get him...but it does not seem that likely. In the meantime, just in case some of his friends decide to come over and try and hurt me or my family I force them to stand in line for hours while I look through their clothing, and install metal detectors on my front and back door. A couple of members of my family complained a little bit so I locked one of them in the bath room for a while and the other? I just told him he was being disloyal and that it was My Way or the Highway...that he was going to have to trust me come hell or high water and then threatened to lock HIM in the bathroom if he acted up again. So far...nobody has come over to do anything to I must be doing one hell of a job! But if they DO...then that means you STILL want me to be in charge because THAT's what they REALLY get rid of ME! Even though they tried to burn down the shed back in 93...which sort of means that it has nothing to do with ME personally but never mind that. Somebody told me that those big chemical barrels I have out in the back yard look like a pretty ripe target but those actually belong to some guys who lent me money..and I wouldn't want to lean on em too hard. They are friends of mine.
Sound familiar?